Aileen learned a lot from the young people in her care; from arts and crafts right through to adjusting expectations to be in line with the needs of her young people.

My favourite thing about being a foster carer is watching young people develop from sometimes a frightened young person, or a young person who is unsure of where they are going, into blossoming young adults who go to university or college or get an apprenticeship.

My last young man who got himself into little bit of bother: we’ve now got him in the Princes’ Trust learning a trade. It’s about being positive, not looking at everything that’s negative and helping them to develop confidence in their own abilities, so they can move on and realise that they can do things.

The support from TACT has been superb. I have the finest Supervising Social Worker that any person could ever have. She is absolutely brilliant.

Encouraging a hobby

My young lady [who I was providing care for] did some artwork. She was very keen on arts and crafts. I have a friend who does lots of art and crafts, and she runs classes. So I went along [with my young person]. I wasn’t very good at it, but she was brilliant. I went so that she would gain confidence. People could see how good she was. I learned a lot about colours and that, while I was there.

I encourage all my young people to do things. A young person wanted to learn to swim, so I made sure she learned to swim. I try to find out what their hobbies are and then encourage them to do it. It just means sometimes having to take them places and then picking them up.

If they feel safe, they can thrive

Another thing that I think is very important for [potential] foster carers to understand is that young people will go out, especially if they’re teenagers. They will miss the bus back so the most important thing is that they know that they can phone you. I always have a place of safety, usually it’s Sainsbury’s supermarket or somewhere where they can wait for me.

The advice I would give is that you’ve got to accept the ups and downs. There is going to be trials and tribulations. They trust you, they’ve got faith in you and they’re looking to you to help them. Be to be patient and help them to feel secure.

I’ve always had lots of ambition for my young people. I try very hard to instil ambition into them, but I have learned that some young people are just happy doing something different – they don’t all want to go to university. So I have learnt to look a little bit more at the needs of a young person, rather than my ambition for them. It’s about supporting them in whatever it is they want to do.

A highlight of mine has been a young lady who actually was determined she wasn’t going to be staying in the care system – but actually stayed for four years and then said ‘I would have made the biggest mistake of my life if I had left’. I watched her grow from a frightened little girl who had been thrown out of a family home with nothing and nobody, into a Deputy Manager at a store. When I see her in the store I sometimes look at that young lady, and I remember a 12 year old girl who was terrified.