Tracey and Stephen have recently celebrated their 15^th anniversary with TACT and to commemorate this they have shared their experience of fostering and the incredible impact it’s had on their lives.

Fostering is an extremely rewarding job, but it can also be very challenging. One of the most important steps to ensuring you are as best prepared as you can be is the matching process, as matching with a child of the right age and development depending on your family’s situation can make all the difference. Despite any challenges, we’ve had so much enjoyment throughout our fostering journey and have made so many memories that we’ll never forget.

‘A’ is a huge part of our family especially as he’s grown older and has become more settled. When we see him playing with our birth child or doing something he would’ve been too anxious to do a year ago, it’s the most amazing feeling. It can be very daunting when you first research fostering, but it’s also very daunting for the child. It’s a crucial time in their life and if you’re able to open up your home and your heart to them, then it can be the most rewarding thing in the world.

One of our most memorable moments when fostering is actually one that’s happened recently with ‘A’ learning to read. He was non-verbal when he came to us and he’s struggled with reading due to his autism, but over the years he’s developed with the help of a speech and language course, and we’ve found ways for him to learn in an environment that he’s comfortable with. This time last year he wasn’t reading at all and now he’s trying to read everything and adores it when we praise him for reading out loud. Reading is a massive skill so to us and ‘A’ this is huge. 

Our foster child also has a complex medical condition, and TACT very quickly helped us by providing us with equipment. It’s things like this that really make TACT stand out to me as their tailored support and child-focused approach means that every decision is make with the child or young person’s best interests at heart. They also never judge you, even when you’re just looking for someone to talk to – they’re always empathetic and are very good at knowing what help or training you might need at the time.

We’ve also been provided with many different types of training including one-to-one sessions which have helped us to learn and recognise behaviours and how to handle them in specific situations. It taught us to keep evolving as you may try one strategy that doesn’t work, but then you go back and try again in six months, and it does. This has really improved our understanding of what to do when ‘A’ becomes overwhelmed and how using PACE we are able to best support him. For example, when ‘A’ first came to us we weren’t able to have visitors as it made him extremely anxious, however over time and with consistency he has become more comfortable with this as we’ve helped him to learn coping strategies and build more secure relationships.

Personally, looking back I think two of the main skills I’ve really developed are patience and organisation. I thought I was good at these before but when you’ve got a lot of appointments and medications to stay on top of, your organisational skills get better than you every think they could have. I also listen more now; I try to hear what the child is telling me even if it’s with actions or eye contact rather than words. It’s picking up on how they’re feeling and being more insightful than you usually would.

What’s most important for me is that I can contact TACT and explain any situation that I may be facing and know that they will be there with the support, knowledge and resources to help me. It’s been invaluable to have a supportive social worker as we’ve had some challenging processes with CAHMS’s and the local authorities to help support our foster child who has ADHD and autism, and our social worker was part of that every step of the way.

Fostering is a way of opening up your home and heart and giving support at a very crucial and difficult time in a child’s life. So, if you think that’s something you can do, then you’ll be able to take on any challenges that may arise because it’s all worth it when you see their faces and the difference you’re making to their lives.