“You have to love, support and listen to children”
Sian & Paul – TACT Foster Carers since 2011
Wales
TACT foster carers, Sian and Paul, talk about their fostering journey, and how they have cared for siblings.
“My name is Sian, and myself and my husband Paul have been foster carers with TACT for over 13 years now. We live in Rhondda Cynon Taff and have four children of our own and four grandchildren, including a newborn granddaughter! We are a family who fosters and enjoy holidays and lots of trips out together.
Before fostering I was working with adults with disabilities, and I really enjoyed doing this. At the time of applying, we had friends who were foster carers for TACT who looked after children with special needs. We got chatting to them and could see how much of a difference they were making to young people’s lives. They introduced us to TACT and said that fostering is not like a fairy tale! Just because we had a spare room, there was a lot of hard work that was needed in order to become foster carers. Each child is different, and it takes time to build up a relationship of trust and getting to know the child’s needs. It takes time to build up a child’s confidence. So, we applied knowing it was going to be a challenge, albeit an extremely rewarding challenge!
We had found ourselves with a spare room after our daughter and granddaughter had moved out. We still had our son C living with us, he was only young then and is now 21 years old, so he has grown up in a family that fosters. Our other three children are now all adults and living independently, but they are all very supportive and proud of us. J is a little brother to them.
I always remember not long after being approved we had two very young siblings come to live with us. It all seemed to happen very quickly, and nothing could have prepared us for the feelings we had when they came through the door. It all became very real! The siblings settled really quickly, and we showed them lots of patience and kindness. It took time for us all to get to know each other and it demonstrated that as carers you need to be really nurturing, the siblings thrived with us, and we worked with the Local Authority to move them on to their ‘forever home’. The siblings were with us for a year and a half and although we knew they were going to a really loving forever home, it was really difficult when they left. We went through a grieving process for them. We were so happy and proud of what they (and us as carers) had achieved, but it was still difficult to say goodbye.
We now have J placed with us who is an amazing young man. He is doing so well in his swimming, and we are very proud of him. J has come on in leaps and bounds since he first came to live with us.
We have learned that every child is different, and you have to love, support and listen to children. Take on board what they are telling you. Their previous circumstances shape them, and you have to have patience to understand this, be there for them, work with them. Don’t treat them any different to your own children with love and nurturing. Not every day will be easy, but when you look back and see how far you have all come and how you have shaped a child’s future, it will all be worth it.
I would recommend fostering to anyone – it’s the best thing we have ever done, and we are very proud. “