Being A Child Of A Foster Carer
Kayleigh was a social worker for 16 years, before joining TACT as an Innovation and Continuous Improvement Manager in 2023. She supports our team, our foster carers and the children they provide care for, to ensure that developments and changes in the wider care system are reflected in current practices to drive improvement initiatives. She has shared her experiences of being a child of a foster carer.
Being the child of a foster carer is an experience full of pride and personal growth. Watching my mum and stepdad take on the role of foster carers has been a journey of challenges and triumphs, but what stands out most is the sense of family that has grown over the years.
I’m incredibly proud of how my parents have navigated sleepless nights, night terrors, and advocating for the boys’ needs. From financial support battles to decisions around education and family time, they’ve faced every obstacle together, showing incredible resilience and dedication.
One of the most rewarding parts is seeing how the boys have grown over the past nine years. When they first arrived, they were shy and unsure of how to interact. Now, they visit, kick off their shoes, joke around, and feel completely at home. Watching them grow emotionally and become part of our family has been a gift.
The Challenges
There have been moments of jealousy, especially when my mum needed to prioritise the boys over me or my daughter. Balancing my own needs with theirs has been hard at times, but it’s made me appreciate the family we’ve built.
Tips for Making It Work
Communicate early about how fostering might change family dynamics. Providing short breaks has been key to building stronger relationships and making everyone feel like part of the family.
Being involved in their journey has become second nature. I help with short breaks and overnights, just like I would for any family member. My daughter, who’s grown up with the boys since she was a baby, has formed sibling-like relationships with them, and they’ve become a central part of our lives.
This experience has also made me a better social worker. Seeing my mum in the role of foster carer has given me a new level of empathy and understanding. I’ve learned to be more creative in supporting carers and more mindful of the emotional toll fostering can take.
“The best part is seeing the boys become young adults. Watching them finish school, attend prom, and plan for their future is incredibly rewarding. They’re part of our family now, and while we haven’t replaced their birth family, they’ve gained an extended one. I can’t wait to see what they accomplish next.”