Gemma and Jeremy were inspired to foster after witnessing children thriving in different fostering situation, through their previous lines of work.

Fostering is everything to me. It has been a huge part of my life for nearly 12 years, and it’s something that’s truly close to my heart. Both my husband, Jeremy, and I had experiences with children in care previously. I worked as a healthcare assistant in the NHS, and I often saw foster children coming into baby clinics. It was always so wonderful to see them thriving and doing so well in their foster homes. Jeremy, who was a carpenter at the time, worked on a house where there were many foster children, and he always spoke so fondly of them. He loved seeing how well the children were cared for, and that really inspired us to start thinking about fostering too.

Our journey began in October when we started the process of completing our Form F. Then, in March, we attended the panel. Looking back, the whole process was straightforward and fairly smooth. We had a great social worker who came to visit us weekly and helped guide us through the forms and questions. It felt a bit invasive at times, but we knew it was all necessary for safeguarding and making sure we were fully prepared. Our referees were interviewed too, which is all part of the process. All in all, it took about six months to complete everything. There was quite a bit of paperwork and checks to get through in the beginning, but once that settled down, it became much easier, and we built a really good relationship with our social worker. It also gave us a chance to reflect on our own childhoods and think about what we could offer to a child in need of a loving home.

The Skills to Foster training was such an eye-opener. It really gave us a clear picture of what fostering is all about. While we heard plenty of heart-warming stories, we also learned about the tougher side of things, and that’s important to know. Fostering isn’t always easy, it requires patience, resilience, and a good sense of humour. But hearing from experienced carers who shared their real life stories was so helpful. It gave us a good sense of what to expect and helped us feel ready for the journey ahead.

For me, the most rewarding part of fostering is watching the children grow and develop, and seeing their confidence grow over time. There’s often this myth that foster children are ‘troubled’ or ‘naughty,’ but the truth is, they’re in care not because of anything they’ve done, but because of things outside their control. It’s heart-breaking to see them come in, so quiet and withdrawn, after being taken away from everything they’ve known. But as time goes on, and they start to build trust, form new friendships, and settle into their new routines, it’s incredible to see them start to thrive again.

One of my most memorable moments was when ‘L’ came to live with us at 13. He had struggled with school for a long time, and we weren’t sure what the future would hold for him. He didn’t feel like school was his thing, and we didn’t know what he was going to do next. But after leaving school, we helped him get an apprenticeship in car mechanics, and that was such a turning point. We were all unsure of what would happen, especially during the uncertainty of the Covid pandemic, but he did amazingly well in his apprenticeship. Now, he’s working as a carer for adults with learning disabilities, and he’s really thriving. It’s so fulfilling to see how far he’s come.

If you’re thinking about fostering, my advice is to come with an open heart, a sense of humour, and plenty of patience. Things won’t always go as expected, and you’ll face challenges along the way, but that’s all part of the experience. The rewards far outweigh the tough moments, and it’s so worth it.

And if you’re considering fostering, don’t just believe everything you read in the papers or see on TV. Take the time to do your research. Talk to other carers, get in touch with organisations like TACT, and find out what fostering is really like from people who have been through it. Also, make sure you’re able to give up work or adjust your schedule to make room for fostering, it’s a big commitment, but it’s also a life changing one, full of love for everyone involved.